where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
