bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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