I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
