I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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