Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
