I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
