I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
