apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
