People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
