i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
