I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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