If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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