Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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