So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
