It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You're breaking my sexual little heart
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
