I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize