Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
