Can Purell be used as lube?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
