Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
