I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
