I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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