Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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