is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
