I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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