I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
