An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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