and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
