After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
