so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
