When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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