I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
When are your genitals available?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
