all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
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