So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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