did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
only you would photoshop your dick
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
