Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
