im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
