i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
