hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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