one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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