Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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