Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
im six kinds of drunk right now
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
