I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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