I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Randomize