Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
