I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
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