I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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