i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
