I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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