did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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