So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
