yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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