you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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