Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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