One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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