can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
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